Inevitable Mortality - My Experience

This is not a reading but something, as far as I can see, that is still an ongoing experience. Everyone I explain these events to says the same thing as their expression becomes one of concern. They stare at nothing while in deep thought trying to see where this may go. I usually detect they are wondering the same thing I am. "Am I going to die soon?"

I never in 59 years found myself feeling threatened or warned by a dream or during any of my many strange metaphysical events I have lived through except for one other, and that encounter, manifested to save my life when a collision with a dangerous man was about to change my view of danger forever. That mystery, so many years ago, I never once thought it was a 'fate' of some kind, but rather, a window of opportunity only that individual could see.

Let me share it with you. I was going to be sitting at a bus stop and a man was going to notice me sitting there as he drove past. He called the shots however, because it was not destiny. My number was not up. I had things left to do. His moment of clarity that he had to have me that sunny morning with no regard but to fulfill his violent lust left no room for him to wonder if anyone would mourn me, or if I was important, or if I was favored by God, or maybe he just did not believe in a God. He only thought of what he wanted and when. I am not sure he even calculated the risk. Was he confident from other times he had managed successfully to do the same thing he was about to attempt with me? I'll never know because I escaped his failed kidnapping that imposed a temporary condition of Agraphobia. The man was never found helping the condition to linger for over a year, unlike the fear my children were in danger each time they exited the front door, which still over powers me sometimes to this day.

What I am going through at the current time is different. If it does come with a meaning, it would not be in the hopes of prevention but more of a preparedness. Many say it represents a change coming, perhaps life-altering but positive change because being optimistic is better than finality. I don't know, so I keep taking notes, wondering if I should do what one dream told me to or should I disregard all of the messages knowing everything has meaning though it may not be as dire as it appears. It was through a dream I recalled the past life that I consider, if there are enough coincidences, just may be the truth. I am quite confident of who I was even if I can't prove it. It was a dream that told me my Grandma was going to die and combined with the many omens preceding it and the fact that she did, made my dream an accurate message from beyond. It was a dream that allowed me to hug my brother one last time after he passed away. It was so real I woke still trying to hold him.

I believe when a person is reaching the end of the time they are granted and it is in accordance with fate (not murder or suicide) the person will receive validations. I don't think we are just plucked like a flower out of this place careless and unexpected. We are told in different ways so we can adjust or begin the process of letting go of people, pets, and things we are attached to. There are only two things I would have a very difficult time leaving behind. My grandson and my dog. All other persons and things have only been a disappointment throughout the years anyway and a little respite sounds welcoming! It is the permanent state of death that sets off alarms. It is the tears anticipated for youngsters that can't understand where we go or why? And how does one explain death to a dog?

I decided to share the events of the past month and you can decide if it sounds normaL, or is God reaching out? Should I get affairs in order just to be safe, write some letters and figure out what I want to happen to my former self, and my best friend, Bono the dog? I could just be one of those that think everything is good and a metaphor, because positive draws positive, so we should never ever think the worst or you'll draw it in type of persons. I can't really be like that because I am a double Scorpio. Realistically bad things happen. Death is inevitable. It rains and shines on the good and bad alike. So why pretend?

I am someone who wants to talk about it. Everyone might say I am worried about the death dreams as if it is definite. Some may say I am panicking because I talk about it or if they saw me preparing. Some may say I view things negatively and dark while I try to decipher the meaning of it all and maybe they are right. If, however, it was them faced with possible mortality would they be so calm and reserved? Would they be smiling as if they will live forever because it is always someone else first, or would they be like myself, contemplating whether to admit it could be the dreaded big day, warning of a strange journey about to present itself ,or be like everyone else fearing to face the uncomfortable or eventual? If you think about it nobody knows when the eventual will arrive but over fifty years you know it's getting much closer! The one thing I always find amusing is when people are amazed and deeply affected when someone over eighty, even in their nineties, dies. How long do we really want to live? And the adult children desperately trying to keep a ninety-year-old mother or father alive at all cost are kinda selfish if you ask me. Have they ever asked their parent what they wanted?

So here is what has happened thus far. It began with a dream.....

Dream One in June

Early June I dreamt I was standing with a group of people, none of them I knew. We were looking up towards the sky anticipating something coming. It was warm and sunny as it is now, it was summer. Finally, a plane passed by overhead, and trailing behind was a banner that read "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRANDA"

When I woke up I thought how odd and off the dream was. My birthday is in November! It felt ominous dreaming my birthday was in June. I asked everyone what they thought it meant. Most everyone said a new beginning. I always viewed dying as another birth.

A few weeks later as I began to forget the dream there was more stranger than the last.

Dream Two in August

I dreamt there were raccoons. One of them was reaching up at something but couldn't reach high enough. Then I was in nothing, I was focused only on a voice that spoke to me. I perceived the voice to be God. He said, " If you want to leave anyone anything you should make your will out now".

Then the voice said "What are you afraid of? Don't be afraid" The next scene I was in the ocean. It was bright and warm out. The water was crystal clear blue/green like the Bahamas water. I wondered if I was going to drown. Was this how I would die? When I died I knew it was not from water because my head was above it. When I died while in the water, only after I knew I died my head went under and I began floating away lifeless. I noticed in both of these dreams it was warm weather, clear skies and a message was being told to me. First happy birthday and now get things ready. I thought about people I knew or was told about, that said a loved one who was already gone would come to them and say things like "Don't be afraid" or "Don't fight it" either weeks or a year before they died. Telling me to make out my will and don't be afraid makes me a little anxious. The third dream came the very next night.

Dream Three

This one was not as clear but in the beginning, the raccoons made another appearance. I know there was water but a little murky and darker. Not as bright as the Bahamas at all. Again I died but I don't know how. It was short but with similar elements as the others such as Racoons, water, and my death. I could have agreed to say 'eh something will end and begin new!' then forget about it. What happened the very next day stopped any positive care free approach to their meanings I may have hoped for.


Real Raccoons

The afternoon of the morning I had the third dream I was walking up past the college I live near when I realized the students had et to arrive for another year, and the frat house I passed was empty. One of my past times late at night is dumpster diving. So when I saw the dumpster off the road semi-hidden I wondered what these spoiled rich kids may have dumped? I looked inside and I saw three little raccoons curled up sleeping. They woke and looked surprised to see me as I was them. The dream came to mind and again I started thinking. Raccoons!

I walked away and left them to their slumber. Later that afternoon I was returning and passed the place again wondering if the racoons left yet? I peered in it hoping they left only to find they remained. That is when I noticed they couldn't reach the top of the dumpster. Just like my dream! I climbed in with my now wide awake raccoons and began pulling all the bags I could on top of one another so they could clim